Yes friends you heard it right, my eldest teen daughter Ishi has a boyfriend already. No, this is not new anymore, since they have already celebrated their one year anniversary last August. This has not been a secret to my family and to my OFW hubby too. It has been an open book to each one of us.
It is not that we tolerated their young love sweet love. We have already exhausted all efforts to make my daughter realized that she is too young for love. I even come to a point where in I had warned her that I will let her stop her studies if she will not let go. She resented naturally. We have a little misunderstanding that time. She made us believe that it is all over only to realize that they are still into the young love relationship. She never break up with her boyfriend, it was all a make believe.
Being an almost single mom, raising a teen (my hubby is working abroad), I feel so pressured and I was asking myself where did I go wrong. I was so afraid of a lot of things. There are many “what ifs” running in my mind. What if she got pregnant early, what if her BF took advantage of her innocence, what if she sill not be able to finish her studies, what if she will also be into teen marriage just like us. The “what ifs” were endless that time. I cried a river because if I only have my way, I prefer her to finish her studies before getting into any relationship.
It was during those moments that I have consulted my dear husband. He acted out as a real man of the house no matter how far he is from us. He talked to me and told me that times are changing. My daughter’s generation is different from ours. Also, he reminded me that we become sweethearts when we are still college. But geez, that was my point. Ishi is only 13 ½ years old that time. Then after our long talks he made me realized that our fate (teen marriage due to early pregnancy) should not be a hindrance for us to give our trust to my daughter. Allan prodded me that parenting styles is constantly changing and we should adapt to our children’s generation.
Allan talked to Ishi and told her that we are not really encouraging their GF-BF thing. Nevertheless we will allow her to be in that teen relationship provided that they will both abide by our rules and that her grades will improve. Naturally, that was a good bargain that my daughter cannot resist.
I know that it is still too early to say, but so far there are no problems encountered and I wish it will remain that way. Now that their relationship is already “legal” to both their parents, what is good is that we may imply our rules to both of them, monitor them and guide them as well.
Allan and I are only hoping for the best for our kiddos. I just hope that my girl will see the imperfections that we have before in our life, the pain, poverty, financial constraints, all the odds in life that we don’t want her to experience and may this serve as a lesson. We are giving our full trust to her and I hope that she will know her boundaries and limitations. Parenting styles will always differ but one thing is constant, we only want the best for our kids.
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your hubby is right iba na yalaga ang generation ngayon. The best thing to do is guide our kids. it is more nice that the relationship is legal now at least they don’t need to hide or anything.
waw ang aga nagka-bf ng anak mo ate…dinaig pa ako hehehe
hehehe
mga kabataan nga naman…
ok lang yan basta wag lang pabayaan ang pagaaral.. hehe
OMG! 13 yO? Kung ako ang nanay nyan cguro magwawala ako! haha! Nagkabf kaya ako last year kona ng college.. hahha
prayers lang ‘Te and guidance ang kailangan…your husband is right, today’s generation is much different….tama din yong ginawa ninyo na bargain para hindi niya mapabayaan studies niya….and always be a friend to Ishi para she can confide to you…
Timing post mo, kaka usap lang namin sis ko kanina, she decided to join his hubby in dubai dahil nahihirapan sya sa teenager daughter nya, medyo pasaway na raw. Siguro daw kailangan na talagang may tatay na tutulong sa pagpapalaki at pagdidisiplina. Kung may chance naman to be together , why not? So sabi ko..go on. Iba talaga pag magkakasama ang pamilya.
Today’s generation is more mature and advanced compared to our generation. Perhaps, the best thing you can offer her right now is proper guidance. Take care.
that’s ok. basta i-guide mo lang. I had a boyfriend at 11. college pa yun bf ko nun tapos ako grade 5. patawa noh. pero mabait naman. at that age, lalake ang nagdadala ng relationship so make sure that your kid’s bf is matino. =)
haaaay naku! that’s also my dilemna right now. My 15 yr old daughter is kumekerengkeng sa isang neighborhood guy and I just can’t accept the fact that she’s into a relationship na.Lahat tuloy ng mga tanod ko kinakausap ko to spy on.
I call that every parent’s nightmare but
Mas mahirap pag pinagbabawalan lalong nagiging rebelde basta kilalanin mo yung bf nya.
Good upbringing will guide your daughter to choose what is proper and I know that you brought your daughter to be God fearing. That will guide her to choose what is right.
Good Luck and God Bless.
ako din, i had my first boyfriend when I was 11. First love and first kiss un kaya kahit against ang parents ko, I managed to make it work. Ayun, nagkahiwalay din kami. Hahaha!
Pero un nga, since napagdaanan ko yan, I think credible ako to give a piece of advice. Mas pinagbabawalan, mas susuway sila. Baka magrebelde pa kung pipigilan mo. Just let them have the relationship, tapos gabayan mo lang through the process.
Not easy on you sis, don’t blame yourself. Teenagers of that age fall in love easily, and we all know that it’s hard to stop them from being together and any misunderstandings are inevitable. I feel that at such a stage, the more we need to talk to her like a friend, so that she will open up herself to you and probably listen to you instead.
pag daw pinigilan, lalong mgpupuiglas…gabayan na lang natin para alam nya ang limitasyon nya.at ciempre, dapat priority pa rin ang pag-aaral.
*sigh* iba na talaga generation ngayon… ako i remember when i had my first bf i was 16.5 but my parents never ever knew about it. Proper guidance and major control ang kailangan. Kasabihan nga pag lalo mo pinigalan lalo lang mag rereblde. Let her learn through her mistakes pero sana wag naman yung matinding mistake.
wow. parang nabasa ko na nga po sa mga dating post nyo ung tungkol kay ishi.. at one year na pala sila. and its good na going strong pa sila.
nagkabf po ako, 15 years old ako, pero lihim. hehehe. ewan, natakot ako na pagagalitan ako ng mga magulang ko. na eventually nga eh nangyari din..
i know nagwo-worry kayo ate, pero tama ung ginawa nyo, trust lang kay Ishi, mas may tendency kasi na magloko kapag patago eh diba?
miss you ate!! mwah!
Hi Cielo,
I also had a boyfriend when I was just 11 or so pero wala naman yun – puppy love lang. Guidance na lang siguro kaysa pilitin mo sila na maghiwalay kasi magrerebelde lang siya sa tingin ko. She’ll think that the whole world is against her.Just my .02 cents ha.
By the way featured blog mo sa : http://www.blog2u.com.ph/wordpress/2008/09/24/brownpinaycom-daughter-already-in-serious-relationship/
Did you see it already? Sikat ka na haheheh,pa autograph;).
@gvenrose,
I am just hopeful na magsink sa kanya ang mga pangaral namin.
@yeye,
sige ye, pagsabihan mo nga si ishi
@tikey,
correct sis, ako nga 2nd year college sa papa ni ishi
@jhelea,
that’s what i like with our mother-relationship, she can talk to me…para kaming magkapatid…mas majoke pa nga ako sa kanya eh,mega guide talaga ang ate mo jhe,,,,
@ann,
may timeline na kami sis, i know soon magkakasama na kaming 4…ON na ang application namin sa OZ.
@rachel,
true sis, that's why i am also adjusting to her generation sis.
@cherry,
11 ka & the guy is college, malaki nga ang agwat, mas nakakanerbyos hihiihih
@vanidosa
buti ka pa may mga tanod na magbabantay sis….dapat malajawo ang pagbabantay mahirap na babae ang atin.
@Ana,
Yun na nga lang din ang inisp namin yung magrerebelde sya…feeling pa naman ng mga teens pag hindi napagbigyan, misunderstood sila or may self-pity factor
@Nicely,
thx for the tips sis, its more credible if its from someone who have been there
@Eunice,
True sis, there are times where misunderstanding will ensue, good thing that at the end of the day, Ishi would always realize that we just want the best for her…
@Eds,
That’s what we always reiterate to both of them, studies first…..
{K},
sis talagang “Sigh” huhuhuuh
@carme;
naku bunso sobrang worry….Ishi ha , wag isusuko ang bataan
@jade,
Thanks sa info ha…unfortunately hindi ko maopen sa PC ko yung blog2u, but my hubby send me (cut & paste) the content….its a good review, constructive at hindi sya sugar coated….
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Girl medyo nakaka relate ako ah, my daughter din ako and like you sana lang nd pa siya magboboyfriend ng maaga pero yun nga nd natin malalaman medyo late yung post ko ah hehehe