Yes friends you heard it right, my eldest teen daughter Ishi has a boyfriend already. No, this is not new anymore, since they have already celebrated their one year anniversary last August. This has not been a secret to my family and to my OFW hubby too. It has been an open book to each one of us.
It is not that we tolerated their young love sweet love. We have already exhausted all efforts to make my daughter realized that she is too young for love. I even come to a point where in I had warned her that I will let her stop her studies if she will not let go. She resented naturally. We have a little misunderstanding that time. She made us believe that it is all over only to realize that they are still into the young love relationship. She never break up with her boyfriend, it was all a make believe.
Being an almost single mom, raising a teen (my hubby is working abroad), I feel so pressured and I was asking myself where did I go wrong. I was so afraid of a lot of things. There are many “what ifs” running in my mind. What if she got pregnant early, what if her BF took advantage of her innocence, what if she sill not be able to finish her studies, what if she will also be into teen marriage just like us. The “what ifs” were endless that time. I cried a river because if I only have my way, I prefer her to finish her studies before getting into any relationship.
It was during those moments that I have consulted my dear husband. He acted out as a real man of the house no matter how far he is from us. He talked to me and told me that times are changing. My daughter’s generation is different from ours. Also, he reminded me that we become sweethearts when we are still college. But geez, that was my point. Ishi is only 13 ½ years old that time. Then after our long talks he made me realized that our fate (teen marriage due to early pregnancy) should not be a hindrance for us to give our trust to my daughter. Allan prodded me that parenting styles is constantly changing and we should adapt to our children’s generation.
Allan talked to Ishi and told her that we are not really encouraging their GF-BF thing. Nevertheless we will allow her to be in that teen relationship provided that they will both abide by our rules and that her grades will improve. Naturally, that was a good bargain that my daughter cannot resist.
I know that it is still too early to say, but so far there are no problems encountered and I wish it will remain that way. Now that their relationship is already “legal” to both their parents, what is good is that we may imply our rules to both of them, monitor them and guide them as well.
Allan and I are only hoping for the best for our kiddos. I just hope that my girl will see the imperfections that we have before in our life, the pain, poverty, financial constraints, all the odds in life that we don’t want her to experience and may this serve as a lesson. We are giving our full trust to her and I hope that she will know her boundaries and limitations. Parenting styles will always differ but one thing is constant, we only want the best for our kids.
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